Living in Full Color: Emotions, Growth, and Connection to Hashem
Life used to feel so much simpler.
By Mindy Wiesner
At least, that's how I remember it.
When I was growing up, it seemed like our emotional palette had only two main colors:
SAD.
HAPPY.
If you added a little heat to the mix, you could get EXCITED or ANGRY.
And that was pretty much it.
Then something interesting happened.
Our crayon boxes started getting bigger.
Suddenly, there were all these beautiful, vibrant colors—shades we hadn't even known existed.
And, in a funny way, our emotional vocabulary seemed to grow right along with them.
Anticipation. Frustration.
Overwhelm. Disappointment.
Longing. Contentment.
Anxiety. Gratitude.
Maybe there really isn't a connection between Crayola and human emotion.
Probably not.
But the image captures something I've seen over and over again in my own life and in the lives of so many women I've had the privilege of meeting.
Our Emotional Palette Is Much Bigger Than We Think
As we mature, we begin to realize that feelings aren't simply divided into "good" and "bad."
Sometimes we're happy and sad at the same time.
We can be excited about something and scared of it.
We can feel grateful and disappointed.
We can love someone deeply and still feel angry with them.
We can be completely overwhelmed and, at the same time, know that we have so much to be grateful for.
Human emotions are complicated.
And that's okay.
In fact, learning to recognize those different shades can be an important part of growing.
But Does Understanding Our Emotions Actually Make Us Happier?
That's an interesting question.
And the answer depends on what we're looking for.
If our ultimate goal is simply to be happy, then becoming more aware of our emotions may not always make things better.
Sometimes it can actually make things harder.
Because once we start paying attention to what's really going on inside, we may discover things we'd rather not see.
The sadness underneath the anger.
The fear underneath the anxiety.
The disappointment we've been trying to ignore.
The loneliness we didn't want to admit.
Sometimes it is much easier to simply say:
"I'm fine."
But what if "fine" isn't the whole story?
Maybe Happiness Isn't the Ultimate Goal
What if our goal isn't simply to feel good?
What if our goal is something much deeper?
What if our goal is to connect with Hashem and serve Him through the life He has given us?
Then learning to understand our emotions becomes much more important.
Because the life Hashem gives us isn't made up of happy moments alone.
There are challenges.
There are disappointments.
There are unexpected turns.
There are moments of tremendous joy.
There are moments when we don't understand why something is happening.
And there are emotions that can feel uncomfortable, confusing, or even overwhelming.
But all of those experiences are part of the life He has designed for us.
Learning the Language of Our Own Hearts
This is where emotional awareness becomes so powerful.
When we can name what we're feeling, we can begin to understand it.
When we can own what we're feeling, we can begin to work with it.
And when we can process what we're feeling, we can begin to grow from it.
For example, there's a big difference between saying:
"I'm angry."
and recognizing:
"I'm angry because I'm hurt."
Or:
"I'm overwhelmed because I'm trying to carry more than I can realistically handle."
Or:
"I'm disappointed because I had hoped for something very different."
Those little distinctions matter.
They help us move from simply experiencing an emotion to understanding what is happening inside of us.
We Don't Have to Be Afraid of the Darker Colors
Sometimes we think that if we're feeling sad, angry, anxious, or disappointed, something is wrong.
But emotions aren't necessarily problems that need to be eliminated.
They are experiences that need to be understood.
That doesn't mean every emotion is telling us the truth.
And it certainly doesn't mean that we should act on every feeling.
It means that we can stop running away from our internal world.
We can look at it.
We can become curious about it.
We can ask ourselves what it is trying to tell us.
And we can bring that entire process into our relationship with Hashem.
Living in Full Color
Maybe the goal isn't to make our lives one beautiful, happy color.
Maybe the goal is to learn how to live with the whole palette.
The bright colors.
The muted colors
The difficult colors.
The unexpected colors.
The colors we would have chosen ourselves—and the ones we never would have picked.
Because a full life isn't necessarily a life without difficult emotions.
It's a life in which we learn how to experience those emotions, understand them, grow through them, and ultimately use them as part of our journey toward
becoming the person Hashem wants us to be.
And perhaps that is what it means to truly live in full color.
So How Do We Actually Do It?
How do we identify what we're feeling?
How do we understand where those feelings are coming from?
How do we process difficult emotions without becoming consumed by them?
And most importantly—
How can our emotional growth bring us closer to Hashem?
That's where we're going next.
Stay tuned for Part 2.